Infiltration
February 5, 2008 by Michael
The privacy, or rather, relative anonymity, of this blog has been infiltrated. Predictably, my post on the “Virtues of a Breath Mint” was the point of entry (by one of my co-workers…check the last comment). I can’t stand the possibility of the doctors, nurses, or front desk people reading this blog and telling me about it. I don’t know exactly why that would bother me, but it does. I guess it’s because I don’t really know many of these people and I’d like to keep my work relationships strictly professional, and nothing beyond that. And this blog hasn’t even been in existence that long. I don’t know how fast this stuff happens on average but I think this might be one of the quickest it’s taken. My creative and personal freedom while writing posts already feels shackled and limited. I’m brainstorming new names for my blog now. I really like this name though…It’s a Sigur Ros song (the subtitle is a quote from a Beatles song). Songs of the Day: Page France - “Everybody Knows” (.m4a) / (album link) The Strokes - “Is This It?” / (album link) The Smiths - “I Know It’s Over” / (album link) The Kinks - “I Gotta Move” / (album link) A Tribe Called Quest - “Keeping It Moving” (.m4a) / (album link) Death Cab for Cutie - “Different Names for the Same Thing” / (album link) Update: Oh whatever…I’m staying put. I like this particular little space in the blogosphere.
I go through REDICULOUS lengths to maintain anonymity. Thsi is probably one of my biggest fears…I dread the day that I may get pulled into my boss’ office: BOSS–”Essaytch, you are a hilarious woman! That post about the bitchy admin…hilarious, I say!” ME–”Well, thanks Boss Lady!” BOSS–*chuckles, remembering afore mentioned witty post* “Aaaaaaand…you’re fired.” ME–”Ah NUTS!”
I should try to be more anonymous, apparently one of my co-workers just pointed our my page to my boss…and I write about work at times which I will now have to stop doing. It would almost be nice to start a blog that is totally that way and say what you would never ever say if anyone you knew was reading, but then who would read?
OccasionalBursts is relatively anonymous, though I don’t think it would trouble me much if coworkers found out about it. I don’t write anything substantive anyway if you haven’t noticed.
My medblog’s certainly going to be a different story. I will for sure be keeping my identity tightly under wraps over there.
I’m so sorry about the infultration. I wrote one about a girl I work with being on the Atkins Diet and her being so MOODY but now my own guilt makes my mind play tricks on me. I’ve convinced myself that she found out about it and read it and now secretly hates me…
If you do move addresses will you email me and let me know your new spot? I’m serious, I really love your posts.
Yeah…I’ve decided I am going to toughen up and not be so scared of a little exposure. I’m staying right where I’m at. Besides, I can use a little more transparency and a little less compartmentalizing in my life. Yes…I shall be an open book — just not about work. I wasn’t planning on writing much about that anyway. It would probably be wise to delete that post though, just in case.
Actually…as you probably guessed, most of this decision had to do with the hassle of moving. Yet another example of how laziness may sometimes be a good thing.
Michael,
Once you post on the Internet, you’re THERE, for all to see. Don’t fool yourself by thinking anonymity is truly possible, if you play in this sandbox.
I found out the hard way, too. Because anyone at my job can find, even this comment, I rarely write things that could cause me to lose my job. I don’t want to lose my job. I rather like it most of the time.
Because my blog is about something horrifying to most people, I don’t censor my feelings, but I do censor some of my anger at how my family has been treated since Owen’s disappearance. But, then, I write things like, “fuck the Petaluma Police Department” on the blog, and I know that this could impact my ability to keep my job. There comes a time, when your words are more important than others’ impressions or interpretations of your words. Easy for me to say…I’m a survivor of severe tragedy - on several occasions throughout my life.
I read somewhere, either today or yesterday (my days blend together now), something like (and this is not verbatim) “…even a dog knows that once you post it online, it’s there forever.” I don’t know if it’s there forever, because I give a modicum of credence to things like 2012, peak oil, and the end of electricity. Ultimately, though, we live in the present, and your words are searchable NOW.
Write from your heart, and “whatever’s gonna happen, is gonna happen” - something Owen said on more than one auspicious occasion. We don’t have a lot of control in the big picture, but we can live our lives in ways that serve others, as well as ourselves.
Serve yourself, and others will be grateful.
Linda
Wow…that was quite a dose of perspective…I didn’t really expect a comment like that for this post.
But thanks for that. I can’t even begin to imagine how the world, and life, looks from your (and your family and loved ones’
eyes. I obviously never knew Owen, but I’ve sometimes wished I did every now and then when I’d come across some little thing you wrote about him on your blog.
I really am grateful that you have given this opportunity for his life to affect mine in even this seemingly small but positive way…I would like to think this is just one of the many ways Owen is continuing to live on…I thank you for letting me be a part of that, whether that was specifically your intention or not.
However insignificant your comment above or my response may seem to be in the “big scheme of things” (considering the origin/motivation of this post), I truly think this is something special…I don’t know you, nor did I personally know Owen. But I sure as hell feel closer to you guys than I do to the person who rents out the room right next to mine, whom I see and exchange greetings with almost everyday.
I don’t think I could’ve realistically expected “Virtues of a Breath Mint” would lead to something like this.
The “enemies” have infiltrated your secret hideout. What are you gonna do? It’s hard to keep anonymous profiles nowadays even on the web.
One of the biggest mistakes I’ve made when it comes to blogging is using my real name - and to make it worse, I use my full name. …And have been blogging for such a long time that I’ve put where I live and blah blah blah. Suffice to say - you google my name, and you get me.
This has lost me 2 different jobs, gotten me into fights with people who “never know i felt that way” about them or things, have lost me friends because of my overly opinionated voice…. it’s endless. Had I of done it under a fake name I’d be in a much better position… And now that the blog is read so often it’s hard to write about personal stuff. I’ve thought many times about starting something new, from scratch… just so I can write about personal shit, and rant and rave without anyone knowing it’s me. …But, I never actually do it.
I guess if people want to get their panties in a twist because of things I’ve written, then that’s their problem, not mine. It just sucks when it costs me jobs.
Damn, Michael,
I really wanted to read “Virtues of a Breath Mint” and I’m guessing you felt a need to delete it, since it comes up as an “Error 404″.
I’ve done the same thing a couple of times. But, I printed out those posts that were “iffy” and saved them to my hard drive and in hardcopy (just in case), because there will come a day, when I won’t need to protect my family in the same way as…today. Enough time will have passed, and we will have moved on to other jobs.
Keep writing, keep going to work. If you want to find out more about how people lose their jobs because of their blogs, there’s a wonderful woman, whose site is called: dooce.com - and I believe she was the first highly-publicized “loss-of-job-because-of-blog” bloggers. She’s self-employed now, and can say whatever she wants, and boy, does she.
I’ll keep checking to see how you’re doing, because I think you have stuff to say that people want to read. People like us. People who live in the real world, the one that’s not afraid of “what’s next after I lose this job because someone didn’t like what I felt, and therefore, wrote?”. (Is that last bit a punctuation problem? I always mess that up, that thing about a quote within an otherwise unquoted sentence. No energy to look it up in the Gregg manual, or The New St. Martins. Ya know?)
WRITE ON!
Linda
Thank you again for the kind words. But I don’t think my situation is really that comparable to the admirable honesty of the dooce.com blogger.
“Virtues of a Breath Mint” wasn’t that big of a deal. I highly doubt I would’ve been fired because of it. It was basically a lighthearted post about one of my managers badly needing a breath mint one day. Okay, that sounds sort of bad I guess…but really, that manager has a sense of humor and likes me, so I don’t think it would’ve resulted in much if he found out.
One of my co-workers found the post because, according to her, I left my browser open to my blog on my computer, and when she had to use my computer briefly, she saw the blog, then sat down and spent a sizeable chunk of the work day going through the entries (which I find slightly bothersome).
I on the other hand, because of info given by my sitemeter, doubt that I made such a mistake and believe that she found the blog out of curiosity, or nosiness, however way you want to spin it.
But I’m not angry or offended in any way…maybe a bit flattered actually, while being just a little annoyed by how my blog was found. I did “privatize” the offending post just to eliminate any possibility for word of my blog spreading at work. (I rarely completely delete posts on any blog) The main reason for me wanting to stop this blog and move elsewhere was because of privacy…which is weird and sort of nonsensical. Although I’m obviously comfortable with most anything I put on here being known by anyone in the world, for some reason, my workplace seems to be off-limits in my mind. It’s not that I hold anything against anyone at work…it’s just that I would like to keep my work just work. Clock in, work, clock out, go home. Sure I’m open to a little chit-chat and laughs along the way…
The thing is, I really, truly doubt anyone at work would’ve randomly happened upon my blog…and even if they did, they probably wouldn’t stick around long enough to find out I write the blog. But it’s been found now. And I guess it’s not that big of a deal and I really need to learn the same lesson that many other people obviously learned much more painfully…that privacy doesn’t really exist in the blogopshere and I should just deal with it. Or at least not complain about it.
So yes, all of this hoopla I’m creating is pretty much over nothing. I think I’m over caring about exposure of this blog at my work…although that particular entry could indeed have caused a little embarrassment.
Now…if my parents, grandparents, uncles, or aunts find out about this blog, expect another panic entry.
I need to write another post pronto. I’m just kind of busy right now with loads of school stuff (but apparently not busy enough to stop me from writing a gigantic comment response that is basically a new post, only without my “songs of the day”).
Yikes. I sympathize about the longing for anonymity. If about anyone I knew got ahold of my blog, I’d probably be up to my eyes in it, largely because I live in a very small town with a relatively small school. So if someone I’ve never even written about figures out who I am, anyone and everyone I’ve talked about on that blog will be wholly aware of all I’ve said (and some I haven’t) in about 12 hours tops. You’ve got my respect for staying put, I think I would’ve rabbited as soon as anyone even got a gleam of mine.
I guess if I want to be anonymous, maybe I shouldn’t be so specific in my posts. Ah well, it wouldn’t be so interesting then, would it?